I’ve always been that INTJ person
who seems to be selfish and keep it all to myself. Sometimes wish I were the
extrovert, you know. But the last test I took online didn’t prove I’m the one
with its traits. Well, will it change?
Some might see me as an uptight
person. I know from the jokes and statement they threw to me. I know and I can
feel it. It hurt so badly, but as time passes, those feel just like the usual
jokes I got to laugh at too. Somehow we got to laugh at ourselves, right? So it
doesn’t feel that much hurt when life throws us jokes. Mostly are ridiculously
painful jokes that seem no fun no more. But hey, the universe has its way to
tell us a great mystery behind all that experiences. Silver lining, indeed.
I’ve been confused in my whole
life for being an introvert. I may not that kind who trying to do things
impulsively, well most of the time – I’m suffering analysis-paralysis. I just
can take any decision and get no result whatsoever. I blame myself. But when I
took fast decision and the result turns out bad, I’ll drown in sorrow and blame
myself all over again. Of course, I react differently when the results turns
out good. So, what’s is all about? What’s wrong with me?
***
Last Sunday I went to my
childhood church to meet my friend and attend the Mass together. I love the
lively ambience there and I guess I will always go back there to reminiscing some
good memories. My parents' holy matrimony was held there, and so was the
baptism ceremony for my sister and I.
Long story
short, after the Mass we went to the nearest mall. On a long
stroll around the mall, I ended in a bookstore. I ran out of good books so
there I was, while reading the books’ synopsis, I checked the reviews &
ratings on Goodreads. And then, I spotted a white-covered book with its embossed
title. Quiet.
Quiet:
The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
by Susan Cain
The reviews and rating are
great. It’s not pricey also. I took it to the cashier and trying to save it for
my me-time later. I just knew this book was going to be so worth it. (I know
part of me was trying to hold me back from this kind of over enthusiasm, just
to make sure I’m lower the expectation).
Two days after I purchased it, I
ripped the plastic which wrapped on it and read it for the first time. From the
very first page, on every single review and feedback from the other authors
about the book. So intriguing. It fascinates me so much until now (I just read
half of it). I should have saved it little by little but this is such a page-turner
that I can’t stop reading.
This book 'peels' layer by layer
of introversion. From psychology, anthropology, to neuroscience. Do you know,
Asia and Africa have more introversion traits that shaped their culture than
America and Europe? It’s in the DNA too. And do you know, one third of
populations are introverts?
Being in the world that courage
most of us to be more extrovert, from our childhood to the period when we’re on
our career now, mostly make us, the introverts, confused for being different
for not knowing how to make the best of us that would shape us the way world
wanting from us too. We’re wronged to be the most uptight person. I remember most
of the time I reacted to the simple casual question while chit-chatting, often I
answered it with what I observe all this time and being quite serious about it.
Yes, we’re the sensitive ones. We’re once the high-reactive baby that quite,
serious, or sensitive that have been overlooked in the world of extroverts, all
this time (find out more in Quiet what I’m talking about).
For most of the time, I’m in
dilemma for expressing this kind of sensitive/serious side of me because it’s
considered as uptight and not fun while on the inside I feel what I express is
pretty much what’s in my head. So, most of the time I’m just faking it, laughing
at it, and I’m not trying to arguing further. The downside is, I’m not really
comfortable with public speaking task, which make me don’t want to argue with
the majority. Since, the introverts avoid conflicts. Fortunately, I’ve been
practicing to handle all those fears with joining school and faculty committee and volunteered
in some non-profit organizations back then, also, my previous job was public
relation which forced me to meeting people with vibrant vibes, loud, and can’t
stop talking. It was hard at the first time, but I managed to handle it pretty
well. Yay!
Good thing is, Cain’s research
results are giving me confidence to know that some of the revolutionaries, from
Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, to Steve Wozniak are those people born with
introversion. She explained why those people were able to lead in their ‘silence’
and how to intensify their strength with those their introvert’s traits. They
were able to be cooperative with other people, as long as the values offered by
them were not contrast with their principle and moral integrity. We’re not
shaken!
Cain’s also provide us ways to
be more flexible, blend in with the 'loud surroundings', from various field of life from relationship life to work life, like she wrote in chapter 8: When Should You Act To Be More Extrovert Than You Really Are. I’m not reaching
there yet, but can’t wait to turning every single page with curiosity like I
always do to this book. Lifelong learning is what I need.
After reaching a half of the
book, I feel quite sure that I’m not weird. I just belong to those one third of
populations. I even talking to myself to calm those thoughts in my head and
this action considered as a natural way – I relieved and can sleep in peace now.
P.S: Susan Cain also have self-help website for fellow introverts to understand their strength in Quiet Revolution (clik here). Find the tribe's writings there. And, of course, this is not a cult.
P.S.S: Watch her talk about introversion (summary of her book) in TedTalks.
